The following stories are not contemporary, but are from women who gave birth and / or brought up children before the days of informed choice and evidence-based practice!
“And
That Was That!”
peggy
lee and sara wickham
A
version of this article was originally
published in Midwifery Today.
In
her eightieth year, I decided it was about time I documented
my own grandmother’s experiences and birth stories.
Born in England in 1920, she spent most of her adult life
living and working on an isolated farm in the Norfolk
countryside with my Grandad, who sadly died in 1989.
As well as having four daughters of her own, she and
the other women in her village used to help the local
midwife at each other’s births. My
sister and I
spent a Sunday afternoon ‘interviewing’ Nanny.
The following words are her own, with clarifying comments in italics.
When
someone was in labour, they would call the midwife
when the pains were every five minutes. We didn’t used to
have doctors present in those days, there was just
the midwife, and then me, or whoever else was helping.
Some had the baby quite quickly after the midwife arrived.
I’d rub the girl’s back and make sure everything was alright.
Like if the midwife left for a couple of hours. Some would want
a drink, especially if they had that gas and air,
it gave them a really dry mouth. Most
didn’t -
they could have eaten and drunk, there were no ‘rules’,
but it seemed like they didn’t really want to.
It was towards the end of the time I was helping with
women that they used the gas and air.
Before that came in, they didn’t have anything.
Oh,
birth then was nothing like you see now, on television.
Most women were on their left side, but they’re on
their back now, aren’t they? I
used to hold their legs up.
The midwife told her either don’t push, or push, and that was that.
Then, by the time you’d done the little jobs you’d got to do,
the placenta was coming. I remember
the midwife helping the
placenta out with one or two, but normally they just came.
And
don’t you find they have terrific strength,
these expectant mothers? Where do
they get the strength from?
They’re in pain, yet all that strength, it was unbelievable.
Well, we all got though lovely, and then the baby was weighed,
and made tidy, the midwife used to do all that.
She wrapped it up and looked after it.
(I asked Nanny if she had ever seen problems,
such as shoulder dystocia.)
I never had any with all those problems.
I think myself they were born more naturally in those days
than they are today. I never was with one when the
doctor came along, except for afterwards. I
only ever
went to one where there was any trouble. I
think it was
because women weren’t scared. I
find with women now,
they think something's going wrong and they go to hospital,
something happens and that baby don’t come.
But mine I had in the country and we couldn’t
get a doctor very easily.
The
strangest birth I ever helped at…
Well, the mother had a huge varicose vein on the
front of her privates, just like a bunch of grapes,
and I had to hold it while that baby was being born.
When the baby was born, well within a day or two,
it had all shrunk away. I don’t
know what it would be called.
(I explained that the medical term
for this was a vulval varicosity.)
Well, you’ve got different words to
what I used to use.
(What words did you use?)
We didn’t used to use any, really, not that I can
remember, we just got on with it, we never did a lot of talking.
And
we never saw the men in those days.
Women had their babies in their bedroom.
My first I had in the bedroom - alone - but then after that,
when I had another one to look after, we moved the
bed downstairs, so that was easier for me.
Women used to walk about in labour,
but they would go to bed when the pains got bad.
Of
my own births, the first one I had on my own.
Mrs. Hunt (a neighbour) was
with me.
And Grandad had to walk to Garboldisham in the
snow to get the midwife. She said
to him, “I can’t come,
it won’t be here for another fortnight.”
So when he comes home, Mrs. Hunt says, “Frank,
you’ve got a little baby girl!”
So he had to walk all the way back in the snow
to Garboldisham, which was three miles,
and she was a very, very old midwife.
She made Grandad get her a taxi, but he still
had to walk back, she didn’t ask him to go with her,
you weren’t allowed to do that sort of thing in those days!
That was Brenda. She was born in
1940.
Well
then Pat I had the midwife to.
You might be sure she’d be there before anyone
was there, but the midwife was there with me after all,
and Grandad was upstairs with Brenda in bed.
I’d got my bed downstairs by then.
And that was that.
With
your mum (Rita) …
Grandad’s gone on Home Guard duty, he was in Thetford,
on the searchlight. He wasn’t
allowed to go to war,
because he worked on the land and was needed
there instead. My next door
neighbour came in and I said,
“Dot, I think I’m going to have my baby today.”
And Dot said, “Oh, don’t say that, Frank has gone!”
But I said, “Well, never mind, I can’t help it.”
So of course Dot got the midwife in, there was Brenda
and Pat upstairs in their cots, Brenda was 4 and Pat was 2 then.
We
used to have a little washstand beside the bed,
with curtains round it, because we had no taps in those days.
And the midwife went to get the bedpan for me from
under the washstand, and the cat had had kittens in it!
Oh, she was furious! She sent poor
old Dot to sterilise
this pan outside and Dot did all that.
I shall never forget that; I was in pain but I couldn’t
stop laughing. Grandad knew Tibbie
had had her
kittens somewhere, but he didn’t know it was in the bedpan.
The
midwife said, “Oh, dear, dear, dear, another one
of these which won’t be here for a fortnight.”
I said, “you told me that when I had my first.”
I keep my babies up high, and then they’re born quick.
Well as soon as the old girl had gone peddling back to
Garboldisham on her bike, my baby was born!
Dot had gone back next door, so I got off the bed
and held your mum and banged on the wall.
“Peggy, what are you doing?”, Dot shouted.
I said, “I got my baby, look!”
She said, “Get you back to bed!”
So somebody phoned for the midwife, but she hadn’t
got back yet. So Mr. Pearson from
the farm had to go
down with the car. He said to the
midwife,
“Put your bike in the ditch, Ma’am, the baby’s here!”
Of course, those were the days when you could put your bike in the
ditch and it would still be there when you got back to it!
Well,
in the morning Grandad came home from Home
Guard, but they had to go and parade in church like
proper soldiers and get their new ration books.
And they’re in the church and the vicar said,
“Well, now we’ll pray for Peggy and her new baby daughter.”
Well Grandad he could have gone through the floor!
They still wouldn’t dismiss him til it was all over but when
they did, he came running up that road so fast!
We
were rationed for food then and I was longing for a
piece of pork after she was born. Well
in those
days we weren’t given just anything to eat after having
a baby, it all used to be gruel. And
this midwife after
2 days said, “Oh, I’ve brought you this, Peggy, it’s my
meat rations.” “Oh,” I said, “No thank you, I don’t fancy it.”
But secretly I said, I aren’t going to let you get
round me like that for missing the birth again!
With
Sheila I had a different midwife, and the
doctor came too. The midwife came to see me and she said,
“No, not quite fully dilated.” So the midwife went out and
had a cigarette with Grandad in the shed! And
when
Sheila was born, and she was another little girl, the
doctor said, “Peggy, this is my third baby this morning,
and the other two are boys, shall I go and see if anyone
will change it for you?!”
So
that’s my four. I breastfed all
my babies.
I had to finish Sheila on bottle feed, that was in 1951,
but otherwise we never thought about bottle feeding.
I never noticed anyone who had breastfeeding problems.
Well, when you lived in the country where we did,
you had to breastfeed, you couldn’t get out to get any food.
When
we were breastfeeding, we weren’t allowed any
vinegar or green vegetables, they said they gave the
babies colic. With Sheila, I had
mastitis. I had to put
stuff called black aloes on my nipples and that stopped
the baby from sucking, because it had a horrible taste.
They did help, but goodness knows how!
They used to put black aloes on children’s
fingertips as well, if they bit their nails.
After
the births, you kept in bed for 10 days before you
were allowed up. Douching was done
while sitting on a
bedpan and we had to have blanket baths because
otherwise we had to get out a galvanised bath
which we had to fill from a copper (a brick structure
holding a basin filled with water under which a fire
was always kept alight) and our water came from a well
in the garden. We had oil lamps for
lighting as well in those days.
We
had a fire under the oven to cook with as well.
But for three days you had nothing but gruel, or porridge.
Now today they eat just anything, don’t they?!
Then just light food, and of course plenty of fluids for
feeding the baby. The midwife came
every day,
and after the third day we were allowed up for an hour,
and gradually on til the ten days, when she finished.
Then she came every month til they were a year old.
I used to take my babies to clinic once a month as well.
They had concentrated orange juice and cod liver oil given
to them free by the Government, but there was no
National Health Service then.
Things
are so different now. Like men are
at
the births now. In my day, I
wouldn’t have liked it.
With Rita, when Grandad came back from the church,
Dot covered me all up so he could just see the baby,
which was more modest then that it is now.
Personally, I wouldn’t want a man around.
I mean, Grandad was a cowman then, and he was helping
them have calves, and all that sort of thing,
but even then I wouldn’t have wanted him there.
I think it’s personal for the woman.
In
those days, we couldn’t plan our babies.
With my first baby I didn’t even know how it was going to
be born. I went home to my mum and
I said, “How’s my baby’s
going to be born?” She said,
“Wait til the time comes
and you’ll find out.” And we
were not told those sorts of
things in those days. Nobody
gave us any advice.
I was 20 when Brenda was born.
Girls are far more mature now at 20 than I was.
I
really enjoyed having my children.
They’ve been a credit to me since.
And to Grandad, he loved them.
Oh, and the kittens survived!
grandmother of eleven and great-grandmother of eight.
After bringing up her children and before her
retirement she worked as a nurse with adults
with learning disabilities. She
lives in Norfolk, England.
Sara
Wickham is a midwife and one of the eleven!
More
to come - watch this page!