From ancient times, the birth of a child has been
regarded as a rite of passage, an event laden with
spiritual meaning, ritual and growth. While the
interpretation of this event differs between cultures
and philosophies, some generalities exist; the birth
of a child not only marks the transition of a new soul
into the Universe, but the journey of a woman into
motherhood, of a man into fatherhood and of the family
into a new design which enables continuation of personal
and community growth. The circle of life is renewed,
and communities rejoice.
Historically, birth traditions and rituals have grown
as ways of celebrating and marking this event.
From pre-Paleolithic times, women gathered together for birth;
older and more experienced women helped those having
their first child and were able to draw on their knowledge
of physiology, herbs and magic to facilitate the process.
In a few tribal societies, a woman is expected to leave
their community and give birth alone, in the same way that
men may undertake vision quests: this is seen to mark their
full transition into the spiritual life of their society.
Birth traditionally took place in the woman's home,
or perhaps the home of her own mother or one of her female
relatives. Prayers would have been said, fire or candles
may have been used to help capture the spirit of the event,
and the Goddesses of birth would be invoked to help speed
the way and smooth the passage for mother and child.
Women may have sought out water, as a feminine element
which symbolically links them with the cycles of the moon;
even today, many women feel an affinity with water and
seek out her healing and soothing properties as they feel
their labour begin.
Sadly, we are losing much of the spiritual meaning of birth
in our own society, as, in recent history, men have seemed
to take control of birth, an essentially female event.
In the same way that the Pagan Goddess was usurped by the
Christian God, the Goddess aspect of birthing women has
been appropriated by God the Doctor, residing in the
Great Temple of the Hospital! I would like to offer some
suggestions as to ways in which women may reclaim their
births and connect with the spiritual dimensions of this
wondrous, magical and holy event.
Many women today are beginning to realise that, for most
women, birth does not need to be a medical event.
Research shows that, for healthy women who do not have
a medical condition (and being pregnant is not a medical
condition!) one's own home is the safest and most satisfying
place to give birth. More and more women are seeking
midwives who will attend their home birth, and find that this
may be the best place for them to create and celebrate a
birth which enables them and their family to grow together.
But wherever the actual birth takes place, it should be
possible for you to celebrate your birth in the context
of your own spirituality. I would like to share a few
ideas which women I have attended have used to celebrate
their pregnancy, birth and motherhood.
Getting in touch with your baby
Anna (all names have been changed) had four teenage
children when she and her new partner decided to add
to their family. When I met Anna, she had had a
miscarriage, and was newly pregnant but scared that
she might lose this baby also. We discussed her fears
and her spirituality and found that she was having a dilemma.
Although she believed strongly that her Higher Being
would make the right decision about the outcome her
pregnancy, she felt unable to connect with the idea of
being a mother again until she knew 'for sure' that this
baby would be OK.
I suggested to Anna that her baby might also be involved
in the decision of whether to be born, and we focused on
the concept of the baby as a soul who had to make its own
choices. Anna realised that the entire experience was
related to her own personal growth and began to meditate
every day, specifically focusing on communicating with the
baby growing inside her. She began to have dreams about
the baby, and saw the baby's face in several of them.
She felt at peace with whatever decision the baby made,
and knew that she would come through it. As her pregnancy
developed, she felt more sure that the baby was going to be
fine, and that they would both learn and grow from the experience.
Anna had her baby at home, in the early hours of the
morning, and spent her labour in a bath of warm water.
We lit candles to welcome her baby into the world and
talked to him gently during Anna's labour. When baby
Joshua was born, Anna immediately recognised his face
from her dreams, and they spent several hours together
after the birth, with Anna experiencing the transition
from being in touch with Joshua through her meditations
to enabling him to feel her physical presence as his mother.
Pregnancy meditation is not only a tool for women who have
fears about their pregnancy, but can be useful for all
women and their partners to build and feel trust in their
bodies, and their babies, to connect with universal birth
energy and to ponder the mysteries of parenting.
Women enter a special place when they are in labour and
giving birth; some midwives say that women 'go inside
themselves'. We know that it is the primal, as opposed
to the intellectual part of the brain which is involved
with birth, and meditation can help women to access this
part of their brain and feel comfortable with the feelings
evoked, especially if they are not normally used to
letting go in this way.
Pregnancy diaries
An adjunct to meditating in pregnancy is the idea of
creating a pregnancy diary. Susan and Geoff had waited a
long time to become pregnant, as they had both felt that
they wanted to build their careers first. They had put a
lot of creative energy into doing this, and wanted to do
the same for their pregnancy and baby. They visited several
ancient spiritual sites throughout Susan's pregnancy,
and wrote their thoughts and meditations down in a special
book, in the form of letters to their baby. They also
collected pieces of writing which held special significance
for them, and pressed dried leaves and flowers which they
collected into the pages.
Susan and Geoff used this process both to connect with
their child through their own spirituality, and to come
to terms themselves with the transition they were making.
They are keeping the book to give to their child when she
reaches maturity, and are planning to hold a special
ceremony for their child to receive the book at one of
the sites they visited.
Creating birth rituals
Several couples I have worked with have created their
own unique rituals for labour and the birth of their baby.
Some have gathered special foods to celebrate the onset
of labour, and planned music, candle ceremonies or
massage oils to use during their birth. Others undertake
meditations, or incorporate prayers or mantras into the
labour itself, perhaps with the woman choosing a special
affirmation to use during contractions. While it is always
a good idea to be 'open to the moment' rather than to have
set ideas about how a birth will progress, a 'birth box'
which is filled with specially collected and prepared items
is one way to celebrate the momentous event. Even if it
does not get opened during the birth itself (which I
have seen happen when labour is fast!), the energy and
thought spent in preparation is never wasted.
One woman who did not have a partner felt that she
wished to connect with the other women in her life.
She asked them to attend a special party a few weeks
before her birth, and bring something which she could
use to connect with the energy of birth, while stressing
that she was not asking for expensive presents. Some of
her friends brought stones, crystals or dried flowers,
while others brought items which they had found useful
in their own births; lavender massage oil, herbal tea,
aromatherapy candles and a pair of woolly socks!
(Many women find that, although they do not want the
restriction of clothes, their feet get cold during labour!)
Through these gifts, and her own work, she felt empowered
and surrounded by love and energy during her birth,
which was also attended by three of these women.
Of course, birth rituals do not have to be based on
material items alone. You may wish to plan a walk
through your garden or a local beauty spot at the
beginning of your labour. Because of the link between
the moon, tides and women's cycles, some women like to
visit the sea in the days or weeks leading up to their
births. One woman spent her pregnancy planning and
tending a herb garden, which she then spent most of her
labour in. She read up on the herbs which were the most
beneficial to labour, and grew these together in an arbor
which later also became the site for an apple tree planted
over the baby's placenta. I also recently attended a
home birth where the older children collected some of
the air from the birth in jam jars - they both sensed
that this was a special and spiritual event, and
wanted a keepsake to help them recapture this feeling.
Holistic midwives understand that the newly born baby
is a unique and fully-grown soul (which just happens
to be in a little body!) and welcome the babies they
catch with gentle actions and kind words, telling them
how much they are loved and how much they mean to those
around them. I have seen several babies who arrive in
the world disorientated, yet who soon recover when we
explain that they are at the end of their journey and
are with those who love them. Just as we envisage the
journey as the circle completes with death, I believe
we should also think about the journey which brings us here,
and what this journey will feel like for our babies.
Wouldn't it be so much better if all babies came into
the world feeling this love and gentle touch - perhaps
they wouldn't need to access so many treatment therapies
in later life?
However a woman, couple or family choose to celebrate
their birth, building ritual and the celebration of
personal spirituality into the day can help to bring
families together. Birth is a beautiful and wondrous
rite of passage for everyone concerned. As a midwife
I feel privileged to witness this miracle on a regular
basis; every day is a birthday, and every birth can also
be an enlightening and empowering expression of a woman
and her family's spirituality.